While the cat's away
by Raising cain
Summary: Ianto's away and Jack, well, bored, but when Gwen' life comes under threat will Jack make a bigger mistake than upsetting UNIT. Janto, yay.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Um ok so this is set bout mid way through season 2, after 'to the last man' so slight spoilers, it's not a big feature in the story. I am a HUGH Janto fan! Thus this is a Janto piece.

Warning (because flames WILL be laughed at): Oh quick note on Gwen, I love Gwen as a character she fits in perfectly, however she gets a hell of a lot more face time than the others, who's characters are better and in my view far more entertaining. Basically I've tried my hardest to make this non Gwen bashing, but realistic to the pain, I apologise if this seems Anti-Gwen. Oh Yeah and I own nothing just got brave enough to post something where I borrowed them.

While the Cat's Away!

Ianto was gone. Stupid Torchwood meetings with stupid UNIT. Jack had been alone and annoyed for a week now. He was bored and ratty and his bed was cold without Ianto to heat it. Jack offered to go with Ianto but he wasn't on the best of terms with UNIT right now, something to do with escaping aliens and jurisdiction, then angry phone calls and apparently jack had stolen the alien's aircraft. Which absolutely was not stealing, hey if the 'keys' were still in the 'ignition' and there was intention of returning it at some point in time then it was borrowing . . . sort of. So Ianto politely declined Jacks offer as he wanted to be in and out, painlessly.

So now Jack was alone with thoughts of Ianto's return in two days, one, two days, that's all he had to make it through. Who thought the mighty Jack Harkness would be brought down by a week and a bit without his 'tea-boy'? It was because Ianto wasn't his ''tea-boy', he was just Jacks. They'd been out as couple for two months now and things couldn't be better.

He had John to thank for that he supposed. For all his swagger Jack had had no idea how to win Ianto back. John's arrival had changed that, provided the opportunity to ask Ianto out, even after that ridiculous mumbling about offices. That date had gone well; Jack had been surprised they'd had fun talking, laughing without work coming up once. Their 'arrangement' had been back on since that night, they still kept it quiet but they spent nearly every night together and went out when they could. It was since Tommy that they'd made it public, Jack didn't want to hide it anymore and from the way Ianto had been talking before they kissed it was the type of reassurance Ianto needed. The type that meant Jack wasn't about to melt into the wood work and disappear.

Jack was snapped out of his revive by the rift alarm. It was blaring at full blast and no one was turning it off, where the hell was everyone, oh yeah. Owen had threatened to shoot him so he'd sent them all home.

It was so stupid he just been talking to Owen during an autopsy and then he'd happened to drop his sandwich crumbs on the body and Owen had exploded. Reality being that Jack had adopted the persona of a three year old playing the 'why' game in the attempt to alleviate boredom. The final straw for Owen was Jacks 'dropped crumb'. More like a piece of crust thrown into the aliens open mouth, closely followed by whoops of joy from Jack.

Owen had snapped walking calmly over to his coat he picked out his gun aimed it Jacks head, and stated "Die" without a waver in his voice, Jack was almost impressed. However after the raised voice, hysterical booming laughter of Jack, a gunshot (a well placed miss by Owen) and finally Jack running through the Hub with a gun wielding Owen hot on his heels Tosh and Gwen thought it best that they take Owen home and stay there.

So there was Jack alone with a stupid alarm that would not quit. He was on his way to 'sort' it, probably in the form of throwing something, when it stopped. Jacks head popped round the door to see Gwen stood there with a smirk on her face. Good old Gwen always around when he needed her, jack felt a surge of affection and walked out to grab Gwen's arm, time for a weevil hunt.

xxx

Gwen had wanted to go home, Jack really was being an arse and she hated to think that Ianto could reduce him to that. Not because it was Ianto that made him that way . . . well not really, it was that she hated to think anyone had that much sway on her untouchable captain. So Gwen had stayed if only to snap Jack out of his behaviour. She was planning on keeping quiet, not sneaking or snooping just to be there encase Jack needed her. It didn't even dawn on her that she was mimicking Ianto's actions, his silent guard over Jack and the rest of them.

Ianto could be completely overlooked as part of the team, which was probably because he wasn't part of the team, not in the conventional sense; he was more the oil that greased the machine. No he was more than that, Ianto was the oil, the maintenance team and power switch. Ianto did all the jobs no one else even considered, maintenance of the hub and equipment; he took care of all and any causalities and records, not mention his very active role in archives. Ianto feed them, kept them caffeinated and no one knew more about the hub than him, no one. He'd even started doing fieldwork, more and more of it. Ianto loved this role, he never really was one for the limelight or aggressive action but from his position Ianto saw it all and could comfortably dive into any situation or argument. He could remain the rational member of the team when the others were too involved and for this reason they all trusted him, looked to him to keep everyone, mainly Jack and Gwen, in line.

So Gwen hadn't noticed this slight shift in her role while Ianto was away, no one did. Not because it was fuelled by ulterior motives, but because that role needed to be filled. And Gwen was most like Ianto as in her role wasn't concrete, unlike Tosh the techie, Owen the medic, or Jack the leader, Gwen was police liaison and seeing as that was really an _at the time_ role Gwen's job was more fluid like Ianto's.

Gwen was doing well at staying under the radar, until the alarm went off; she could see Jack flinch and didn't need to hear him to know that Jack was grumbling probably contemplating throwing something. Gwen shut down the alarm and started taking note of where the rift spike had been, the size of the reading suggested weevils, she turned and smirked noticing Jack had come out of his office with a shoe in hand. After dropping the shoe and granting Gwen one of his famous Captain Jack smiles, the pair linked arms and Jack almost skipped to the invisible lift revelling in childlike anticipation of something to do.

xxx

Jack was flooring the SUV; he was caught up in the moment, the adrenalin buzz and Gwen's squeals at every sharp turn were spurring him on.

"Couldn't you slow down just a little bit?" Gwen's plea came through gritted teeth, but her smile betrayed her, making her enjoyment obvious, not that Jack would have listened anyway.

"Come on Gwen this is fun, admit it, your smile is."

"Yeah well it would be even more fun, if I wasn't quite so scared of every corner your taking" As if to prove her point her sentence was punctuated with Jack hitting the breaks to suddenly cut down a back alley, the back wheels catching the front and the whole car drifting, albeit in Jack's desired way. "Jesus Jack."

"Demoted, huh"

"What?"

"Well Ianto usually calls me God . . ." Jack let the sentence sink in with a wry smile and wink.

"Ok did not need to know." But Gwen was laughing, Ianto was always so professional until the two of them really got into a conversation, then all pretences were dropped. Ianto didn't confide much in anybody, but Jack and his dairy, however he was a brilliant listener and this had forged a bond between him, Gwen and Tosh. Ianto wasn't as reserved as a lot of people thought, his snarky nature had to come from somewhere, and Gwen and Tosh knew more about Ianto's sex life than Jack would have guessed, and visa versa.

Jack took the smile at face value and proceeded to speed through the smaller streets of Cardiff. "So where are we headed."

"About a Mile more east, there's a collection of houses that appear to be abandoned and the reading seems strongest there."

"Seems?"

Gwen checked the screen in front of her, the red haze indicating rift activity appeared blotchy, and she had guessed that was normal. Tosh always took care of this stuff, technically they were all trained in how to use standard equipment, but when Tosh got into full techie swing it was so hard to concentrate, plus Owen was usually trying to distract her. "Um well it's . . . all the red . . . yeah it's the most concentrated area."

"Oh, 'cause you sound so sure."

"Like you could read it any better" Gwen had got him there, if Jacks silent but open mouth was anything to go by. "Thank you."

The next few minutes were silent not due to any awkwardness or hostility but because each was preparing themselves for the fight about to commence. The SUV drew to a halt on a quiet street Jack's speed giving the car extra forward momentum that made the front wheel scratch against the curb. The street was eerily still, no movement showed on any side and the houses had a dormant feel, the whole street couldn't be asleep it was only seven, so Gwen was right, abandoned.

Jack got out of the car first, almost jumping on the spot, fidgety with adrenalin. Gwen followed quickly, both scoping the immediate area. Nothing, there was nothing there. The pair was letting their guard drop; it was then that a door to the left of Jack was flung open smashing into the wall snapping one of the hinges.

Jack automatically dropped into a crouch, creating a smaller target, while Gwen swung herself round the SUV bracing her back on the door. Inhaling deeply she peered over the bonnet to behold utter carnage. Jack was grappling with a weevil while another clawed at his back, claws shredding coat and skin like it was paper. Jack was writhing in pain, slowly losing grip on the weevil locked in his arms. Watching the proceedings were another three weevils two quite small, both further from Jack, spins curled, heads' raised to the sky nostrils quivering as if they could taste the fear in the air. With a jarring movement the weevil had finally wrenched itself free of jacks slacking grip. The pair of attacking weevils set about ending Jack with precise slashes to his stomach and throat. Jack's body lay convulsing on the floor, blood pooling around his middle and head spreading into a puddle around his now unnaturally still form.

Gwen had to be sick she could feel the bile rising in her throat, chocking her, crippling her ability to breath. Whether it was her retching that finally drew the weevils' attention or that they'd just waited to dispatch Jack first, Gwen didn't have time to decide.

Five heads snapped her way in unison. It was the largest weevil, the one which had been at Jack's front, that first bounded over to the SUV in four long strides. It skirted around the bonnet to lung at Gwen's chest. Throwing herself from the fatal strike, Gwen had missed a second weevil approach from behind. This weevil was at Gwen's side in an instant sinking its teeth into the tender flesh of her Shoulder. Gwen howled throwing herself to the side to try and dislodge the unwelcome addition to her body. This only made matters worse teeth not just sinking deeper but now twisting and tearing. Gwen's howl became deeper and almost animalistic, she was in too much pain to register that it wasn't her screaming now, her voice long gone and throat raw.

Jack had shuddered his way back into life, after a moment or two's disorientation he'd heard Gwen's cry. Shooting the three loitering weevils on sight Jack vaulted the SUV to land in front of the first weevil kicking out its feet and killing it execution style, one bullet clean between the eyes. Jack turned to face Gwen only to falter in his resolve, Gwen was bleeding badly her shoulder a gaping wound open to the elements save for a weevil covering it. Jack snapped back to attention empting his cartridge into the offending weevil and grabbing Gwen before she hit the floor. Placing her back against the car he all but ripped open the boot grabbed the first aid kit and returned to Gwen. She was in a bad way, Jack plugged the bite best he could, gauze saving her from infection for now. He checked Gwen's pulse it was faltering, but he wasn't about to lose Gwen not now, not today, not to a lousy weevil, not when she hadn't given as good as she'd gotten, not while he was okay, not while Jack could prevent it. Without a second thought or even first Jack locked lips with Gwen, hands grasping either side of her face in a less than gentle caress, willing, forcing his life into her, wishing her safe.

xxx

Gwen could feel herself growing cold. It started as a tingle in her fingers creeping slowly up her arms and drawing in from her legs and numb feet. She was growing numb, only a stabbing heat in her shoulder and neck anchored her to existence.

Then she felt it, a spark at her lips, something begging entrance flooding her with warmth, making her body sing.

xxx

Jack could feel Gwen accepting his life force. Now her pulse was growing stronger, cheeks gaining pallor, lips losing that hideous blue tint. Good, now he could move her, somewhere warmer and safer. Jack raised Gwen in one swift fluid movement, hauling her and their bags over to a shell of a house and breaking down the door. Jack slid in laying Gwen on the floor he took off his coat laying it next to her. Jack then picked up Gwen and placed her with such reverence, as if she was some precious jewel, on his coat. Now she was safe, well safer, jack rearranged the door back on its hinges and rang Owen.

"Look mate I'm not being funny but this better be good, you owe m . . . "

"Owen shut up its Gwen she's hurt, badly! I've stabilised her for the moment but there was so much blood, and the teeth were in so close to her neck I can't . . . can't lose her, not ready . . . none of you . . . "

"Shit, Jack try and stay calm, where are you mate, tell me and I'll be right there."

"Can't think, don't know an hour out of the harbour maybe, hurry Owen so much blood, I can't do this."

"Shit, ok relax, Jack I'm gonna need you to stay calm, look mate I'm going to get Tosh to track this signal, is Gwen conscious . . . Jack I need an answer, Jack!"

"Yeah, no she's so still Owen so still"

"Ok Jack breath, I needed you to stay calm, I need one of us to help Gwen ok, keep her warm and hydrated keep pressure on the wound, is it patched."

"Yeah, the first aid kit patched and sterilised."

"Ok, that's good Jack you've done well. Now Jack listen if she wakes up you've got to keep her focus and attention if she sees the wound there's a good chance she could go into shock. Jack . . . our Gwen's strong, she'll get through it."

"I know, Owen?"

"Yeah"

"Hurry" Jack didn't wait for the reply, he didn't need to. Jack knew Owen was probably half way out the door, already on the phone telling Tosh.

Jack returned to Gwen's body, so limp and still he removed his shirt to place over her, he had his t-shirt, and Owen had said to keep her warm. He looked at the water, but he didn't want to force Gwen, any shocked movement would tear her wound right open. So instead Jack lowered himself at Gwen's head raised it and sat crossed legged creating a pillow, and there he stayed diligently watching her breathe.

Jack had only been sat there a few minutes when Gwen took a breath her whole body seemed to move with it, her rib cage shuddering. Jack leapt to action finding her pulse, it was erratic and jumpy Jack remembered what Owen said about shock, and did the only thing he could. He kissed her, just like before, pouring in his life force, making Gwen come round.

Gwen did come round, to lips on her own, her eyes shot open, but steady hands kept her from springing up. Gwen was alert, but not panicked, this kiss was something else. She could feel jack in it, she knew he meant no harm, only life and Gwen clung to this drawing in Jack, feeding off his kiss.

Later they would blame it on other things. Jack would blame it on the situation, on being scared and alone. On the lust and care he felt for _all_ his team members. On Owen and how he told Jack Gwen needed to be kept occupied. He would even blame it on Ianto for not being there to hold him when he 'woke up'. Gwen would Blame Ianto too, for making jack all the more alluring. She would blame it on nearly dying and on wanting to feel alive, wanting to feel anything. She would blame weevils, and Owen for not being there sooner, and she would blame Rhys. She would blame him for not being the one to bring her 'back'. But right now neither were blaming, neither were thinking, both lost in the moment and they own emotions.

Gwen pulled Jack to her, ripping his t-shirt from his torso. Jack was working on holding Gwen still always aware of her wound, while tugging on her jeans. Gwen had successfully removed jacks top and now surged forward in a deep kiss, almost animalistic, no room for anything other than pure need. A silent agreement was made in that biting kiss, this meant nothing but to fulfil the want, Gwen's need to feel alive and proof to Jack that they were both okay they'd both made it. Gwen pushed her hand into Jack boxers without warning, both pairs of trousers discarded in a heap to the left of them. She grabbed Jacks cock twisting her hand suddenly right. Jack threw his head back in pleasure and Gwen used her lips and teeth to attack the newly available skin, latching her mouth onto his earlobe first. Jack had to check himself; that was one of Ianto's favourite tricks. Ianto having told Gwen this himself after she asked for tips with Rhys. Almost only to ground himself to the situation, and the person, Jack stroked Gwen's breast tweaking the nipple, this was definitely not Ianto. Shit what was he doing? Ianto! But when Gwen bit his lip like that and applied that sweet pressure to his straining cock Ianto was forgotten. Gwen was keening now, jack was so strong and demanding, she could tell he was a teaser, he would rather have her begging, but right now it was about urgency.

The pair had transformed into a writhing mess on the floor, clothes scattered , bodies surging into each other, moans being prised from pursed lips like forbidden secrets. They were moving as one, increasing speed while losing control, surging and writhing while building and climbing to the climax that sweet oblivion before the rest of the world could come rushing back in.

Nearly an hour later they were back at the hub. Tosh and Owen had pulled up in his car to find Jack waving them down in the street. Owen had nearly had a heart attack, grilling Jack on why he'd left Gwen, why he'd moved her "What the hell Harkness". Jack hadn't answered, just motioned to the house muttering something about seeming worse at the time.

Owen, leaving Tosh to help Jack clear the weevil mess outside, had found Gwen sat on the bottom step facing the back of the front door. Owen had expected . . . well he wasn't sure but something a hell of a lot worse than this "Fucking Harkness . . . heart attack!" Gwen looked up to see Owen enter, and if he hadn't been more focused on checking her over he might of commented on the blatant look of disappointment that distorted Gwen's features.

The ride home had been unpleasant, after Tosh's relieved outburst at finding Gwen safe the group had been quiet. Tosh taking it as exhaustion and shock, she wasn't exactly ok herself; Owen's call and arrival had left her completely shaken. But Owen wasn't fooled something had happened, beside the weevil's. Jack had just taken off in the SUV with the weevils, he hadn't asked for help almost removing Owens head when he'd try to get to the bottom of it all. Gwen had been quiet, not one murmur of pain, not at the house, or in the car, not even now perched on the autopsy table.

Owen really wasn't stupid. There was no way Jack would have rung him like he had earlier if it hadn't have been bad. Jack had seen a lot, more than anything he could imagine and in this job that was saying something. So for him to breakdown over something as small as Gwen's grazed neck it just wasn't feasible. Plus Owen had that extra something called being a doctor. Gwen's neck looked odd, the skin was taunt and pale, like it was already scarring, the bruising was already more yellow than brown. Owen knew it was a bad wound, most definitely life threatening, but it was old, about three or four weeks if it had been stitched properly.

So Owen was just supposed to buy this, swallow the lie, or lack of truth. No way, Gwen had received a three week old wound _today_, her shirt was drenched in her blood along with Jack's coat, and Jack was ignoring everyone. Something had gone on and Owen had a tenner riding on the fact that Ianto and Rhys wouldn't like it.

Along with having the general advantage of being a doctor Owen had the advantage of being Jack's doctor. Oh Harkness liked to think he was all mysteries, pah, Owen knew all about Jack's biology wacked up as it is, and he hadn't missed the energy that permeates Jack's body. Owen was also Ianto's doctor and he'd seen that kind of healing on Ianto before, only that time he'd been willing to kick up a fuss doing tests and blood work finding that same energy in Ianto, only just showing resonating like an echo. These results turned Ianto into a blushing and unnaturally quiet blob, which usually left Owen laughing or craving some sort of mind bleach. Owen wouldn't say anything it wasn't his place; Harkness could screw up his own life. It was Ianto he was concerned for, if Lisa taught him anything it was that Ianto gave his love completely, this would hurt him massively and Owen would have to be prepared for when the shit hit the fan.

xxx

Gwen was panicking; she was ashamed, angry at herself and that arrogant bastard. She felt wrong and dirty like her insides were crawling, alive and wriggling. She felt all these things because she'd wanted it, hell she'd needed it, in a way she always had. But never, never had Gwen counted on it feeling so much like a betrayal. Not to Ianto, she didn't care too much right now, but for herself and for Rhys. Gwen was better than that, at least she'd thought she was, but Jack had managed to crawl right underneath all that, he got right under her skin. He'd become her obsession, her personal mission to know Jack, the real Jack. And to save him, to bring him out of that dark place they could all see he resides in, and for him to only thank her , for Jack to acknowledge that she was his guiding light. Now it was gone she felt almost cheated, their relationship had altered, moved on.

And she hadn't even been lucid enough to properly enjoy it, a coy part of her whispered.

Pushing said voice away she turned her mind to Rhys. She had cheated, oh God she had hurt possibly the only constant and good thing in her life. She done it before but those times she'd always been right, she hadn't like hurting him but it had been for the 'greater good'. Now she had no excuse no rhyme or reason, she couldn't tell if she felt more disgust or pity for herself.

An idle part of her mind had been wandering how Jack was taking this, but at the thought of his name all others stopped. It was his fault; there it was her reason, Jack. He had kicked everyone else out; well ok they'd opted out, but because of him. She'd had to weevil hunt with him, alone. It was his fault for dying, for saving her, for being there so she wasn't alone, and for being the only light in the most terrifying night she could remember. It was clichéd she knew, but it felt better, it was better, if Jack was a saviour and the context in which _it_ happened, the events of the night, gave her an excuse, a reason to cheat, because she was just reacting to being alive.

Gwen had had enough of thinking for now, she needed to get up and go, do something before she went completely insane. Slowly raising herself from the autopsy table Gwen ignored a protesting Owen and didn't even spare him a glance as she shuffled to Tosh's desk, she wasn't in too much pain. Everything just felt stiff, like a broken arm after the cast is removed, healed but like it hasn't functioned in years. What she needed now was a good friend.

xxx

'Retcon where was the sodding Retcon' Jack was thundering around in his office trying to find a little white bottle. Owen had taken it last, for their field work, but no, he'd given it to Ianto after the incident with the farmer's tractor and screaming wheat, long story involving alien technology and the transference of sentient consciousness. Jack was sure he gotten it back though, yeah out of Ianto's trousers while picking them off his desk. So where the hell was it?

Jack had driven off alone; he wasn't able to deal with this, he needed to think but before that he needed to clear his head, a lot. Gwen was still swimming about in there, inducing dread as she'd nearly died, pure bliss that she was alive, and lust at the intoxication of her perfume and the grasp of her hands . . .

Jack had driven for a long time, out into the depths of the countryside. He was going to bury the weevils, the catalyst of tonight, the memories. After all they were dead. Owen had no use for them he cut up more of the creatures than Jack cared to remember and like humans, although built differently their basic anatomy was the same. And he wasn't about to dump them, leaving things alone, to rot, gave him the shivers. So Jack pulled the SUV to a standstill and dragged the bodies about fifty meters into the adjacent woods. Here the physical exertion was enough to bring Jacks whirring mind to a grinding halt. He just focused on the soil and the spade, the smack of steel on stone and the dull ache building and burning in his muscles.

It was nearly four hours later when Jack resurfaced back at the hub, even then he didn't stop to greet anyone, only pausing in his resolved march to sneak a glance at Gwen, sitting on the autopsy table obviously trapped in her own thoughts and ignoring Owens mutterings. Jack continued on, he had finally stopped to think in the car and had come to a decision. Retcon. He was in pain and so was Gwen, in fact his pause had only strengthened this resolve, he wasn't about to let Gwen suffer.

He could carry the guilt, be the only one to remember and stop the others trying to dig up these memories. He'd have to get Owen too, that boy was too smart for his own good and that meant getting Tosh as well, unless he could get her to help. Hmm that may just work better he'd have to come up with a story for the 'lost' time and Gwen's wounds anyway. So if he told the story to Tosh, something about a weevil and Owen and Gwen getting in too deep and an argument, he could convince her to help as it's what's best. Yeah good basics, he could Iron out the kinks later, Jack always was a good improviser . . .

Who was he trying to kid. Retcon, like that would ever work, they were all far too smart to fall for that or any half arsed story he concocted, and for once that didn't fill him with joy.

Jack was scared. He couldn't lose Ianto. Not now, not after it had taken so long for them to get over themselves. Jack didn't know when or how it had happened but he had fallen completely for his Welsh boy. He knew Ianto loved him completely too, he wasn't blind or thick, just selectively ignorant sometimes. Their relationship had always been about need, but now it had evolved from animalistic lust and the need to forget and feel, to the need for each other, the company, the advice, the love and the compassionate understanding.

They were completely in love, it just wasn't conventional. Jack had taught Ianto not to worry about boundaries, Ianto would tolerate Jacks flirting, even enjoy it because that's what made Jack and because it was always Ianto he came back to. Ianto could revel in the fact that he was something more to Jack than all these people, that's why he always returns.

Jack knew the instant it became anything more Ianto would walk and never look back.

And in return Jack opened himself up to Ianto, just little things at a time, but it was a never ceasing flow of the truth, of course Ianto accepted that there would always be something Jack didn't share.

The pair were completely comfortably with and around each other, completely trusting and open, they were perfect and without all that awful need for constant proof of love, although displays of it were always welcomed.

And he Captain Jack Harkness had fucked it all up.

Bugger.

xxx

Ianto stepped off the train onto the crowded platform. Taking a moment to brush down his suit jacket, Ianto allowed his eyes to survey his surroundings, to take in the appearance of Cardiff, of home. A second later he was swept up in the throng of people headed toward the exit. Dear god he was thankful to be home even the normal aspects of life here were interesting. He had never been so bored in is life than sat right at that table noting every word the UNIT idiots ranted. Jack really was rubbing off on him; there were never that many doodles in his margins before loving the great captain. Ah, Jack, his Jack . . . right Starbucks first then the hub, come on he had his priorities.

xxx

Jack was acting again, he was playing himself. Retcon was a complete no, so he was going to ignore the problem. Technically it wasn't a stupid plan because Gwen wasn't stupid. She had Rhys and would stay with him because she loved him and because Jack wasn't presenting himself as an option. If he didn't acknowledge the event then he was showing Gwen that he chose Ianto. He was, and always wanted to be with Ianto, but she was a friend, no she was more than a friend, so he wasn't being cold, he still loved her just not in the way that night had portrayed. By pretending nothing happened he was showing Gwen she still had a place on the team at his side, he wanted things to remain normal. They could move on without the mess of ruined team dynamics and Ianto could remain in blissful ignorance.

That was when the cog alarm blared into Jack's thoughts; his less than perfect plan was would have to work, because everyone was in work which meant that was Ianto, finally.

Gwen's head snapped up from the work she had been trying to finish. Oh god Ianto. What the hell was going to happen, Jack was ignoring the situation, which in all honesty she was thankful for. How the hell would _that_ conversation go anyway? In Jack's warped way he was showing her they were going to be ok, she knew that. What Gwen didn't know was how they would get to ok. Was Jack going to tell Ianto out right? Would Ianto guess, he was freaky perceptive about Jack and well everything. 'Deep breaths Gwen' she told herself 'deep breaths' they'd get through this they were professionals, but just how many limbs would Ianto tear off first, she wondered.

"Ianto!" Jack all but vaulted the stairs and desk to reach the young man walking through the doorway. "Bout damns time!" Jack exclaimed as he swept Ianto off his feet turning to carry him bridal style into the main hub.

"JACK!" Ianto was decidedly uncomfortable with this, as much as he loved this very public display of affection, he didn't need another reason for Owen to mercilessly mock him. "Put me down, now" Ianto was wriggling so much that Jack had to comply or risk dropping Ianto on the floor. "Thank you" Ianto wasn't looking at Jack but rather smoothing over his suit for a second time that morning, it made him smirk to think Jack had the same effect as a large crowd of commuters. Jack however was not at all put off in his affections, he waited too long to needlessly touch his Teaboy, stepping up behind Ianto pressing his chest flush to Ianto's back and letting his hands naturally fall to Ianto's hips.

"Dear God! Five seconds Jack, he back exactly five seconds and your already molesting him. Ianto go away longer next time" Owen had come out to greet Ianto, curious of Jack and Gwen's reaction, but upon seeing the Teaboy smothered by Jack his childish excitement fell and he shouted his opinion over his shoulder on the way back to autopsy.

"Jealous Owen, he's mine" Jack retorted feeling Ianto shift against him as he giggled and then adding directly in Ianto's ear "never stay away that long again, I was bored" punctuating with a nip to the pale flesh under Ianto's ear "and I missed you"

Ianto hummed, he wasn't expecting this Jack was never this public at work, on the street it was normal Jack didn't care what people thought, he loved Ianto what should anything else matter. Yet at work Jack liked to maintain professionalism. That way 'Captain Jack' was obeyed and if Ianto felt he needed to interject or object it was never thought of as favouritism, not that it would have been anyway but it made Jack and Ianto feel better. And from the sort of grimace on Gwen's face Ianto guessed she had expected it either.

In truth Gwen thought it was sweet and would have swooned over the pair if it hadn't been for the whispering, shit why had she never learnt to lip read.

Jack was watching Gwen too. It may be cruel but he was marking his territory. Gwen better hide that grimace if she didn't want trouble, it wasn't her normal behaviour and Ianto was observant. "Gwen, you alright? Jack, stop it." Shit too late Ianto had tilted his head watching Gwen and had inched toward her.

"What, sorry, yeah fine thanks Ianto. Didn't sleep very well, sorry in a little world of my own, now come here stranger." Gwen was good at lying, she'd had to learn fast in Torchwood and with Rhys, plus the best way to catch a liar was to be one. She moved to hug Ianto who still hadn't shrugged off Jack who walked with him still pressed as closely as he could be while walking to Ianto's back.

xxx

"What did you tell him?!"

"Shit! Gwen, give a guy a heart attack!" Gwen had cornered Jack as soon as she could. She'd shrugged off Ianto's concern easily, ignoring the more pointed looks from Jack, and watched the two settle back into routine for a while. A first she thought she'd be ok but Jack wouldn't leave Ianto alone, constant touching or squeezing, nipping at his neck and all the God forsaken whispering.

The situation had been starting to fray her nerves, what if jack wanted to tell Ianto, make her out to be the bad guy, not that Jack would do that but her heightened state of agitation wasn't doing anything for her powers of deduction.

What Gwen had wanted to do was talk to Jack, this whole ignoring it gig wasn't going to work if they didn't have their story straight, or neither quite knew what the other was planning to do. And now with Ianto so close the threat was so much more poignant.

It had taken two hours, two fricking hours to get Jack sodding Harkness alone, and even that wasn't her doing. Ianto had finally lost him by bargaining, boring paperwork now _whatever_ Jack wanted later.

What Gwen hadn't realised is that she had elongated the process herself. Her jittery nerves had made her follow Jack less than covertly, and her excuses to get him away were quite frankly lame and transparent. Each new attempt had seen raised suspicion of something in Ianto and Jack having to spend another fifteen minutes distracting him, not that he minded but he'd rather have been doing it for fun than out of necessity.

"Shut up Harkness. What did you tell hi . . ." Gwen's distressed state had elevated her voice raising it to a level that would easily attract the others. Jack grabbed her arm cutting her rant mid flow, and dragged her into his office; grip unnecessarily tight out of anger.

"I told him nothing. And neither will you or Rhys for that matter. Just forget it Gwen it was a mistake." Jack's words flooded Gwen's ears drowning her agitation with sorrow. Fair enough that had been the plan all along but hearing it from Jack, so blunt and without care, cut her.

Shame and revolution now fuelling her anger, Gwen wrenched her arm from Jacks grip she lunged forward, throwing her body weight at Jack, shoving him harshly against his desk, shock and the sharp twinge of pain quelling his retaliation.

"YOU BASTARD!" Gwen screamed, "Do I mean that little to you? Do I repulse you that much?" Gwen voice dropped and started to quake with a now deep burning anger, not that former violent spark but something cold and far more frightening for it.

Gwen's outrage carried her now, her body and soul were exhausted but Jack was going to get a piece of her mind, pure determination operating her mouth and voice box. "You can pretend all you want Jack but it happened and you loved it, you love me. Face it Jack Ianto has never mean that much to you, does he ever feel the raw passion you threw at me? You gave me some of your life, try and act all high and mighty, but I am a part of you now, you gave yourself to me" Gwen's pain was so consuming that the spite of her words didn't reach her, nor did the look of shock and panic that crossed Jack's face, or the presence at the door. In fact the only thing that penetrated her bubble was the broken sob that resonated from behind her and the way Jack sprang to life and bound for the door, with little care for her physical presence.

When Gwen turned four things hit her in quick succession. First was Owen's face, the look of smug confirmation and shock warring to rule his expression, finally settling to a sneer of barely concealed disgust. Second was the fact that she couldn't see Tosh's, just her rippling hair as the petit woman stalked away, shoulders tight and angry. Next came the image of Jack slumped on the floor, frame wracked with silent sobs and fist pounding the concrete in chastisement. The last was the smothering silence that followed the cog alarm, the blanket of quite that meant Ianto had run.

TBC

Hope you liked it I am writing the next part I swear just couldn't resist the cliffy.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I AM SO SORRY!!! no excuses I'm just sorry :s, hope this makes it up. All I can say is that I wanted to write an ending that fitted not just write an ending because it needed one which is why it took soo long.

Ok two main songs inspired this firstly is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, if you can get hold of the just piano version it's the one I was listening to. Secondly was 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morissette though that link is more for me, 'My Immortal' is more obvious.

Right here we go with the second half hope it's good enough, sorry again about the cliffy just really couldn't resist, ok back to the probably is, but trying not to be Gwen bashing, and of course Janto love.

Once again nothing belongs to me, but Santa said if I'm very very good . . .

Xxx

"YOU BASTARD!" the shout had echoed round the cavernous space like a fog horn, causing three heads to snap towards Jack's office in equal amounts of confusion and shock, though one seemed to find a little hilarity in the situation.

Xxx

"Tosh?" Owen stood facing the shock of black hair and pale slender line of her neck, studying the detailed stitch of her top and deciding just how much of his hunch to divulge. Owen had been planning to keep stum but Jack's, somewhat over joyful, reaction to Ianto's return had completely changed his mind.

The captains exuberance only confirmed Owen's nagging suspicion that something had happened, something big and nasty, thought the act itself quiet enjoyable . . . but he digressed. Thing was Ianto wasn't an idiot, jackass sure, pompous git sometimes, but never, never an idiot. He _was _going to find out it was just a matter of time. Ianto was going to need someone and Owen opted out, he wasn't good at love, not even his own. If he had to talk about anyone else's it got, for lack of a better word, messy. And Owen was in no way going to endanger his own health by saying the wrong thing to Ianto, no fucking way, he needed help. He needed Tosh.

Tosh turned in her chair to face Owen, a pretty little blush colouring her cheeks, matching her pale pink top and giving her the glow that always came with her hidden affection. Owen was staring down his eyes glazed, obviously fixed on some decision he had yet to make. The right corner of his bottom lip sucked into his mouth gleaming a little with saliva as his jaw quivered in an action betraying nervous thought, Tosh smiled, she was prone to lip biting too.

"Look, you trust me, right? Of course you do, we've only saved each other's lives a couple of hundred times," Owen wasn't really too sure how to start this, or continue it for that matter. It wasn't a question of trust, between them, but Tosh had such blind faith in Jack, total unadulterated love for them all and he wasn't quite sure how she would react. Her being the closest one to Ianto except for Jack didn't help either. "Right I don't really know how to say this, so, I'm just gonna. You're gonna have to go on faith Tosh." Tosh's head tilted to the left a little taking Owen in, calculating his words, factoring in the shifty stare and jittery stance, concluding Owen was going to tell the truth, or at least he thought he was.

"Look Gwen's wounds were old Tosh, I'm talking weeks old, but the blood was fresh on both Gwen and Jack and definitely hers, I checked. Jack's an arrogant bastard, but he was losing it on the phone, seriously freaking out. He was losing her." Owen paused to pick his next words carefully, Tosh could appreciate fact and so far that's all it'd been, but this next bit was trickier. "Ok, I'm a doctor right, and a damn good one so believe me when I say I've seen that on Ianto too."

Tosh's expression morphed into the equivalent of a question mark; she couldn't quite get what Owen was hinting. Gwen had been hurt and Jack worried, so what, but Owen was right Gwen's wounds or lack thereof didn't match the blood, and what did Ianto's wounds factor into any of it, the only correlation there was Jack's pani . . . JACK. "You think Jack did something don't you? With Gwen, something that would hurt Ianto," Owen visibly relaxed, thank God Tosh was smart, he'd known he wouldn't regret telling her about Jack's residual energy, when he'd first picked it up.

"Yes," Owen voice was more like a sigh of relief "I could be wrong, unlikely, but I could. I just wanted you to know, Tosh you know I suck at any kind of touchy feely crap, and I figure, you know, Ianto could use a friend."

Tosh merely nodded her thanks, Owen hadn't lied, not about something like that, but right now she was grieving for her friend and needed a moment. Owen noted the change in tone and lightly brushed a hand to her shoulder before turning to slink away. He was halted half way through his pivot however by Gwen's howl.

Owen had to smirk, thank fuck he found Tosh first.

Xxx

Ianto was the first to react to the high pitched wail that had emanated from Jack's office. Fear upping his heart rate sending adrenalin coursing through his veins, providing the jolt of energy that made him hit the bottom of the stairs first.

Within seconds of hitting the first step Ianto relaxed, body language dropping from the attack. Gwen had been the cause of the wail, he could tell from the lower pitched ranting that had run on from the first expletive.

The words were still loud but a little too muffled to make out, Ianto justified his inching forward as a rescue plan for Jack. He'd no doubt dropped himself in it by refusing Gwen something, really Jack should have learnt by now. Just like how Ianto knew the next step was an unobtrusive offer of coffee and polite request for assistance to Gwen.

Inching father up the stairs Ianto caught two words very clearly ". . . repulse you . . ." and dropped all pretence of rescue, not that he'd honestly been fooling anyone. Ianto in reality was just curious, and as he felt a new presence at his back he gave a little smirk knowing he wasn't the only one.

Gwen had been following Jack and himself all day and had truly started to grate on his nerves, she'd never been this intolerant of their relationship before, he knew she had that whole white knight thing for Jack, but would never do anything for fear of shattering her illusion, right? It wasn't till she'd tried, with little if any subtlety, to lure Jack away that Ianto became curious. Now he wasn't so sure that she was being intolerant, it seemed more solid than that, her jumpy stance and reluctance to meet Ianto's own gaze suggested that whatever was up was serious, to her at least.

Ianto was almost at the door now, words were hitting him thick and fast. Gwen, in mid flow, was oblivious to him and while Jack's acknowledgment of him seemed funny at first, the sheer terror Ianto thought was meant to be mocking, lost all humour as the word's started to sink in.

". . . Pretend all you want Jack but it happened and you loved it . . . love me." Ianto felt a cold creep in at his spine clasping his heart and squeezing it tight ". . . Jack Ianto . . . never meant . . . much to you," Ianto was experiencing a kind of melt down, emotions closing him off from the world, only catching odd words, that terrible kind of numbness that seems to make everything worse. ". . . raw passion . . . threw at me" Ianto's mind was filling in the gaps with vivid images, memories of flirty banter, flashes of what could have happened, each flash a knife to his gut, each flash a thousand times worse than the words it replaced. "You gave me some of your life. . . I am a part of you now, you gave yourself to me" the last words rang through in perfect clarity like a bell tolling through the smoke, it was a warning, run.

Run now or lose your heart, lose your life, lose it to a man who doesn't deserve it and a woman who would ruin it.

Ianto registered the first thought that had truly made sense, one that didn't shatter his hope or test his resolve not to cry. Ianto paid attention and gave a curt nod to no one in particular before turning to push, quite brutally, past Owen and Tosh, holding a dignified march till the rustle of Jack's clothes and scrape of shoe on metal shattered his illusion of control and he ran. Ran out of the hub, out of the plaza, foregoing car and mainstream roads till his back hit the wall of some no name club and his heart shattered a little more with each chest heaving sob, that wracked his frame.

Xxx

The silence that reigned in tyranny over the hub was suffocating. It was killing Tosh and she was one of the least connected to the event, somehow even Owen had guessed something first.

Tosh had witnessed the whole explosion from over Ianto's shoulder; Gwen's words had made Tosh drop her gaze with an internal cringe. From that vantage point Tosh had watched Ianto's body twitch with shock and despair, slump with the weight of Jack's rejection and finally steel with self control.

When Ianto had run Tosh hadn't moved, frozen in her boots by the inky black aura that poured from her closest friend. Tosh had stayed that way until Ianto had fled, respect for his grief dousing her own need to escape.

Tosh didn't look up, or down at either Gwen or Jack. She turned sharply on her heels, drawing a grating sound form the metal and marched off in the direction of her desk. She felt Owen follow her after a moment's hesitation and tossed a weak smile in his direct, a reaction to the hand lightly grasping her shoulder.

They stood like that for a moment Tosh sat silently at her chair fingers whizzing over the key board, screens flickering with images of CCTV. Owen stayed like a statue at her side, quiet respect for Ianto and strength for Tosh. Owen had expected screaming, crying, and the possibility of a fight or at least Ianto decking Jack, but the stillness was worse, without the snap tension still crackled like electricity through the air.

The pair remained fixed until the computer screen stopped on a figure slumped against a brick wall. With a brief tightening of his grip before release Owen headed for the car park, Tosh's eyes never left the screen as she maintained her guardian angel watch.

Xxx

Jack felt cold. It had happened so fast, everything exploding out of control.

Ianto was gone. He'd fled. Jack knew he'd possibly broken his young boy; he'd already done it once with Lisa. Pulled Ianto down to basics, left him with nothing. And when Ianto had rebuilt himself he'd made Jack the centre of his world and Jack had let in happen, loved the attention, and revelled in it. But apparently hadn't even blinked before tearing it down, again.

And now he just may have broken himself in the process.

Ianto hadn't been the only one rebuilding, Jack had watched Ianto blossom and slip under his defences, Ianto wasn't just cute suits any more, he was the fear that kept Jack jumping in front of bullets and weevils. Ianto was now the space that filled the void Jack had left empty for soo long. He wasn't the only one, every now and then people slipped through Jack's self imposed isolation, like Estelle. And each time Jack felt a love for them that held the weight of the empty years in between.

This time Jack had gained a love that was fuelled the same way as his, Ianto had given him everything, the love he had for Jack and the love he could have had for Lisa. If he couldn't forgive Jack then Jack knew they'd both come out of this twisted, torn and scarred, damaged goods.

Jack felt the cold of the floor seeping through to his legs and fists, which felt strangely wet, bleeding from the beating the floor had taken. Yet Jack couldn't bring himself to care. He deserved it, he deserved worse.

He continued to stay as he was, crumpled on the floor, self pity and shame making his limbs heavy with lead. There was a tight feel to his chest, like a vice was crushing him, it felt like suffocating, slowly, each breath lost him air and his rib cage wouldn't expand to let more in. His eyes were glazed and watery, fixed on Ianto's smile in a memory or two, which set Jack's own face in a sad perversion of joy. A loving gaze tainted with the grimace of pain.

Jack didn't like being wrong and really didn't like feeling guilty about being wrong. But somehow this was worse, like he needed, no, wanted to feel worse, to take all the pain and just dwell in it, let it keep him company, lone companion to the lone immortal.

The cold had crept up Jack's arms and legs, numbing his extremities, before Owen moved. Jack had been happy to sit there and break, oblivious to the others, but then Owen had moved in the corner of his eye and he was quite contented to ignore that too but then he'd seen the flash of silver. The cold glint of steel that spoke volumes, of course Tosh had tracked Ianto and now, now Owen was going to fetch him.

No way!

Jack was not going to let anyone but himself pick up Ianto, Jack had broken this so he _was_ going to fix it. Owen would only make matters worse, take Ianto out to drink, bitch about Jack, god knows what else. No way!

Ianto was Jack's, Jack had just been to fucking stupid to do the right thing, but he was going to do it now, and he was going to do it before Owen had the chance to do . . . well . . . anything.

Jumping from the floor Jack moved fasters than he had in days, ignoring the shocked intake of breath from Gwen and the scrape of metal on metal as Tosh stood undoubtedly to stop him. Jack took paces two or three times larger than normal, matching his accelerated heart beat, determined to be at the plaza before Owen. He was going to get Ianto back, this wasn't the end.

Xxx

Ianto felt numb, there was nothing no pain, no tears, no joy. The wall had seen him spend his tears, ones that he'd been crying since he fell in love with Jack Harkness.

Ianto had seen this day coming, the one where his heart would break, it was inevitable. Whether it broke when he was bleeding out on the floor, or when the bullet cut short his breath, Ianto knew he'd break. His heart would break to know he'd lost Jack, lost everything.

And he might as well have been dead, because he felt nothing, not the cold from the winds nipping at him in the ally, nor the warmth of the pub, or the burning of the seven shot's he'd thought to ingest. Ianto didn't see or didn't acknowledge the bartender's sympathetic glance or the regulars' snobbish sneers. He didn't hear the lads' roar for his apparently high alcohol threshold and he didn't care for the vibration of his jacket pocket, and the phone within.

What Ianto did feel was the hand on his shoulder.

Before he really registered what was going on Ianto had spun himself round on the stool, arm lashing, fully intending to lay some damage into Harkness' face, already relishing the little thrill which Jack's bloodied nose would give him.

Only to have his, admittedly sloppy, punch caught mid thrust.

Ianto's senses finally caught up with his fist and he found himself gazing not on Jack's big blue puppy dogs or Owen's attempt at sympathy, but on a smirking stranger. The guy was tall about 5'7'' with a mop of brass hair, half tamed by product of some kind. Strands of said hair fell over brown eyes that held a surprising amount of concern for a stranger, concern that stood in stark contrast to the obvious amusement at Ianto's punch, amusement betrayed by a smirk playing on cherry lips.

"That bad a day, huh?" the guy sank into the vacant seat at Ianto's side before ordering another two tequilas. Ianto shrugged noncommittally as he continued to roll his glass between his fingers.

The conversation remained pretty much one sided as the night deepened, Ianto providing monosyllabic responses when necessary. Ianto could have told him to take a hike that he was wasting his efforts, but honestly Ianto was enjoying attention so different from Jack's. This guy was interested, that was made clear by the constant hand at his shoulder moved sometime later to his thigh, but his flirting was subtle and flattering, calmer than Jack's in your face and frankly off putting approach. Ianto was enthralled by the attention this guy gave him; maybe it was just that fact that the guy was still hitting on him even though Ianto's head was clearly elsewhere. Alcohol hushing the voice that told him this guy only wanted to fuck him, and at the same time making a one off with Jack's distinct opposite an ever more enticing idea.

Forty five minutes into the encounter Ianto's substance abused mind made the decision that the guy at the bar was different enough from Jack to qualify as a distraction for his breaking heart. Rising, still in silence, from the stool Ianto grabbed the guys hand and tugged him sharply to his feet.

Somewhere in his head Ianto registered that the guy didn't protest, that he just stopped talking and smiled, that this was a bad idea, unfortunately the only bit to filter through to Ianto's presently controlling ID was that the guy had _finally_ shut up.

Xxx

Owen was putting his phone back in his pocket after getting the voicemail, again, when he was wrenched back from the car door, emitting a small grunt of protest into the night.

"Oi! Oh, fuck off Harkness." Owen was not in the mood for his visibly angry and apparently unconcerned with personal space issues boss. Jacks hand slipped from its vice like grip on Owens shoulder, only to hover midair before making brutal acquaintance with Owen's face.

Jack caught the staggering body and helped ease it to the floor. He didn't flinch, just snatched the SUV keys, slammed the door shut and tore off into the dark streets.

"Well. That's one way to avoid confrontation." Owen muttered, more to himself than the small puddle of blood forming on his shirt from his no doubt broken nose.

Xxx

Ianto had made it five steps out the bar door, all too eager nameless stud in tow, when the SUV pulled up alongside the pavement. The hiss of brakes and sudden silence of a choked engine alerted something in Ianto; he had to turn, quickly. Unfortunately for his balance Ianto's feet weren't exactly in direct contact with his brain at the moment, and he stumbled. The stud caught him, arms lopping round Ianto's waist and pulling his body to rest against a solid chest.

"Whoa steady there, the night was almost ov . . ." the rest of the sentence was muffled by Jacks fist. The stud released Ianto in shock, who stumbled again only to be caught this time by Jacks unoccupied arm and pulled against another solid chest.

"You don't touch him! You don't get to touch him, get the hell out of here!" Jack shouted, and something about the look in his eyes caused the nameless body to rethink his retaliation, mutter something about 'crazy ex's' and make a swift exit.

Ianto had taken this small time laps to realise just who's unfairly inviting chest he was resting on and had started to struggle. Finally Jacks attention was ripped from staring daggers into the retreating back and now rested wholly on the restless form in his arms. He started to nudge Ianto to the pub side, somewhere their shouting match didn't have to be _quite_ so public, it soon became clear however that Ianto wasn't going to play ball and so Jack near enough carried him to the ally mouth. Only when he had placed Ianto firmly back on his feet, and the younger man had put an apparently appropriate amount of space between them, did Jack start to talk.

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!" talking may have been downplaying it.

"NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS."

"YOUR MY . . . _your_ my business, Ianto."

"I'm not _your_ anything Jack. Not anymore"

"Did you even know his name? Anything could have happened to you, anything"

"Like you'd care" Ianto sneered

Jack looked offended "of course I fucking would" this only provoked a snort of disbelief from Ianto "Don't, Ianto, don't act like I've never cared, don't act like there's nothing between us. I know your hurt and by God I know it's my fault," he moved forward so smoothly that Ianto didn't even realise he had till Jack's hand came to rest on his shoulder while the other grasped for his hip. "But you don't understand . . ." Jack was cut off mid stream as Ianto jolted violently away from him.

"No Jack_ you_ don't understand, you never fucking have!" Ianto was verging on hysterics; his eyes were wide and bloodshot alcohol mixing with anguish making his tongue looser than usual.

"What about me Jack! I've stood by you; I've been here always waiting for you even if you never fucking acknowledged it. I was there, now where the fuck are you? With Gwen causing me pain" with that Ianto seemed to crumple under his depression, legs buckling while his torso sagged. "It's you Jack, it's always been you," his chest was heaving with the weight of his emotion "You don't get it, because I can't leave you Jack! Couldn't if I wanted to, you . . . your . . . just . . . I. AH!" Ianto barked out in his frustration, his body snatching back from Jack's outstretching hand.

Jack ignored the physical rebuff and lurched forward wanting to pull the frail body into his own, let his body dampen Ianto's pain.

Ianto however instantly squirmed further away from the older man. "I guess I've always known you'd chose her, and waiting was exhausting" Ianto was barely whispering, his voice broken, laced with coldness. When his eye's caught Jack's, Jack had to gasp at the vulnerability he saw, his body subconsciously backing away from the responsibility of Ianto's broken heart.

"You have to leave me Jack, I've tried to tell myself you were never there, but you, your presence lingers with me." Jack was scared he'd never wanted to do this, reduce his boy to a quivering wreck, Ianto was fading and he was why.

It was Jack's fear, clearly present on his face that gave Ianto strength. His voice gained volume and his body shuffled well out of the older man's reach, eyes gleaming with growing self belief.

"This pain is just too real; you have to leave me Jack because I can't. I'm too bound in you, in Torchwood." Ianto stood now, starting to walk backwards stumbling a little, unsteady on his feet, tears flowing freely. "You still have all of me, but I've been alone all along." His voice once again no more than a whisper. Finally he seemed to shake to his senses, he turned and ran from Jack, who still sat stunned, immobilised by guilt, on the sidewalk.

Xxx

Ianto only managed two blocks before he crumpled again. His spine to some back ally wall, breath erratic, tears burning, a recently all too familiar occurrence.

It was only in the quiet and dank atmosphere that Ianto realised he probably hadn't made too much sense, there'd been too much, too many thoughts vying for a voice. But he'd done it. He'd told Jack to stay away; he'd done what he needed to, what he should have done in the beginning.

Xxx

Jack was still in a state of shock, his body felt disconnected. He couldn't focus on anything; all he could picture was the raw pain in Ianto's eyes. He hadn't seen that in a while, not since Lisa and he'd been the cause then too.

Maybe Ianto was right, maybe he had to leave his boy alone. This was going to be hell.

Xxx

Ianto had contemplated taking a week or so off work, but the thought of being driven from somewhere, especially by Jack, propelled him from bed. He ignored the shocked glances at his arrival, he ignored the awkward silence, and he most definitely ignored Jack. Ianto wasn't ok, not by a long shot, but he could handle it. He mostly stayed in the archives, the calm there soothed him. There wasn't any drama in paper, facts and figures.

Tosh and Owen tried not to crowd the younger man sensing his need not to dwell.

Tosh was a naturally reserved person, her social interaction could be considered a little stunted. Ironically this made her best equipped to consol Ianto. Hugs made him retreat further; Jack was a tactile person. Enquiring questions were little better, Gwen had always been nosy. So Tosh's unintentional indifference, casual questions about work and shy smiles settled Ianto.

Owen was not a naturally reserved person; his socially stunted attitude was a life choice, so Ianto was just as safe talking to him.

Gwen had tried apologising, tripping over herself to please Ianto; she'd even tried to corner him once or twice to talk. Gwen soon stopped however. It wasn't that Ianto was rude or mean he wasn't spiteful or hateful. In fact he was perfectly civil, polite even. It was Ianto's eye's that finally stopped her. When he looked at her Gwen couldn't see anything in them anymore, no hate but no forgiveness, no pity or sadness, just nothing. Ianto didn't feel anything toward her and that left Gwen feeling cold.

Jack had tried to reach Ianto too, but the hurt and betrayal that shone in his boys eyes any time Ianto looked at Jack, was enough to quell his attempts for a while. Guilt throbbed in Jack like a stomach ache, enhanced with a fresh stab of pain every time Ianto walked out of a room Jack entered, every time his coffee was left outside his office, every time Ianto said 'sir'.

It didn't help that Jack could constantly feel three pairs of eyes on him either. Gwen's full of pity and barely concealed relief, Owen's mocking without sympathy and Tosh's with hurt and appraisal.

This pattern continued for weeks Jack slowly retreating from Ianto too. Not because he'd given up, he knew he had to win back his boy, but because it was affecting his work. Ianto wouldn't fall into his arms if they lost someone because Jack's head wasn't in the game.

Xxx

Ianto tried, tried to move on or forgive Jack, he honestly did. But the older man still had his heart and always would. Ianto had to fight himself every day just to stay distant, stay away from Jack. It was painful and entirely unpleasant; more than that it was lonely because Ianto knew there wouldn't be anyone else, not for him. But he stayed aloof, didn't run to Jack because he knew if he steeled himself now then he wouldn't brake again, he would never have the threat of this pain hanging over him.

Xxx

Jack tried, tried to win Ianto back, make Ianto forgive him. He tried with words, words that failed him, tied up his tongue, made him choke on emotions he didn't want to voice. He tried with actions but Ianto recoiled from his touch and never stuck around in Jack's company long enough for him to make some big romantic gesture. Jack tried with celibacy, he still was, but Ianto didn't care or ask about that part of his life anymore, so this act was more for his own punishment than anything else. In the end he did all that was left, he made a promise, that he would never stop loving Ianto, that he would watch over him and when the day came that Ianto finally needed him again nothing would stop him from reaching his boy.

Xxx

The climax of their painful stale mate arrived three months after Ianto's return from the unit meeting.

"Jack, rift spike. Roath Dock, picking up three heat signals, all moving. Easily big enough to be weevils."

"Okay. Tosh keep tracking them, I want you here for tactical support for that number." Jack had leapt from his office chair with the buzz of his intercom, grabbing his jacket, spouting out commands and taking the stairs two at a time. "Owen, meet us at the SUV I want it ready to go in 5. Gwen with me, we're hitting the armoury." Jack slowed for his last order a pang in his chest catching him, three months and the pain was still raw "Ianto get the weevil spray and catch Owen up."

Ianto felt the echo of pain too "Sir".

Their working relationship had no fault they were professional and polite, their interaction was efficient but minimal. Ianto was still too hurt and Jack still felt guilt, which had now mixed with sheer frustration at Ianto's stubborn distance.

Xxx

It had been weevils, three rather large and agitated weevils.

What they had gathered from Tosh in the short, barley ten minuet journey, was that there had been construction taking place on the docks till they'd hit a sewer system, construction had stopped and the site left a poorly covered in land fill.

The three weevils in question had come from the interrupted system and were now lost, aggressions building as they failed to return home.

Jack was primed to shoot, his recent and all too regrettable encounter with weevils making him dismiss capture over kill, when Gwen grabbed his shoulder from behind and insisted on subduing them first; she was getting more like the Doctor each day and Jack couldn't help the small swell of pride, he needed that, they all did.

However pride quickly turned to frustration when Gwen refused to back down. The weevils were stirring, observing the new arrivals with extreme caution; it would only take one small gesture to break the uneasy truce, which came when Gwen pushed Jack behind her. She was now at the head of the group, the weevils taking this break in 'formation' to be a switch to the offensive and surged forward. Frustration turned to anger and Jack more or less threw Gwen behind him to Owen remembering completely why the Doctor's mentality resulted in so much running.

While the largest weevil angled its attack at Jack the second and the third went for the rest, Ianto managed to keep the second at bay with a few well placed shots to its legs and surrounding floor space. The third however swerved around an occupied Ianto and headed for Owen. Unfortunately for Gwen she was between the two bodies. Owen threw himself forward dragging Gwen to the floor while firing blindly at the enemy. A soft squelching and low growl told Owen he'd hit the mark.

The second weevil used the shouting to avoid Ianto and fall upon a now screaming Owen. Ianto, left with little other options, threw himself on the alien wrenching it away from the cowering forms. With its attention now fully diverted to the man on its back the weevil reared up and flew backwards into a lone wall, the remnants of construction work and unfortunately for Ianto the only such structure for several meters either way, 'just my luck' Ianto's shocked mind supplied.

Ianto made contact first, the wind knocked out of him followed by a nasty cracking noise, only the pressure of the weevil on his front held him to the wall. Ianto felt a scream rip from his throat and he clenched his jaw against the pain and noise. Using the pain as motivation he dug his fingers into the creature's shoulder blades and as the weevil growled and shifted to grab him, Ianto tried to access his gun, an action made harder by the pain, his head was fuzzy and it was hard to focus. The weevil sensing his sloth threw its arms up and grabbed Ianto throwing him to an undignified heap on the floor supplying a few more crunches as Ianto's arms then head made contact with the cold hard ground.

Ianto's first barely controlled yell of pain ripped Jack from his engagement with the largest weevil, grabbing the creature's head he pulled back while kicking the back of its knees, Jack's fear giving strength to a move usually useless on such an opponent. Jack then proceeded to empty half a can of weevil spray in the creatures face.

Turning and taking aim he shot once at the weevil Owen had taken down, making sure it really wasn't getting up before finally turning to Ianto just in time to see his boy land about 5 yards to his left and hear the gruesome sound track of breaking bones. Jack froze; all he could register was Ianto, his brave and loyal boy, _his_ Ianto lying bleeding and silent on the floor. What he didn't register was emptying his gun, into the weevil that had flipped Ianto, before it could even look at another member of his team.

"OWEN, get to Ianto now" but he needn't have bothered, the doctor was already there frantically checking Ianto over.

"I'VE GOT A PULSE. I've got a pulse" It wasn't that Ianto shouldn't have a pulse it's just Owen had seen the lighter man hit the floor, he'd seen the blood, he'd seen bigger men die from less.

Jack let out the breath he'd been holding.

Since Jack knew Ianto was alive he picked up his boy and cradled him, mindful of injuries, to the SUV. The journey back was quiet, Jack refusing to let even Owen touch Ianto and had practically growled when Gwen had tried to check the limp form. Jack held Ianto to his chest while Owen drove, stroking Ianto's face and hair, cooing into his ear words of love and promises of what he'd do if Ianto came back to him soon. All thoughts of former pain or how Ianto may react to his proximity were lost to adrenaline and relief.

Xxx

"OWEN!!" Jack was staggering through the cog door carrying the unconscious Ianto "OWEN!!"

"Jack, mate please I'm moving as fast as I can and Gwen ain't exactly light as a feather" Owen was in a similar situation shimmying through the doorway half dragging Gwen, supporting his own strapped up arm.

The group made it inside the Hub, Jack bruised and carrying his still unconscious boy. Owen had sprained his wrist when he covered Gwen and knocked her out too in the process, he was now dragging her to the sofa with his arm in a make shift sling. As soon as this was complete Owen ran to medical ushered on with shouts of his own name and a few choice words from Jack.

After around thirty highly stressful minuets, Jack glaring and snapping the entire time, all the while point blank refusing to leave Ianto's side so becoming yet another obstacle for Owen to manoeuvre around. Owen had run enough tests to competently declare that Ianto was doing alright, his vitals were strong and there was no internal bleeding. He had gotten away with three broken ribs, a broken right arm, quite a bit of blood loss and a cracked head; he was lucky, probably in a lot of pain, but lucky.

Xxx

When Ianto came round, it was dark, the Hub only illuminated by computer screen lights which cast an eerie blue glow, something akin to an aquarium.

Ianto's head thumped, and for a few moments he didn't know where he was or what had happened. All that came to focus was pain and before his memory rushed in and quelled his tongue Ianto yelled for the only think he wanted. "Jack!"

Xxx

Jack was dreaming, he been sat at Ianto's side all day, he wouldn't be moved. Owen had asked politely for a while before becoming swiftly irate at Jack's inability to stay out of his way. Not even Tosh's genuine concern for him to eat or at least talk had moved him. Gwen's dejected plea for him to allow her to explain had been the final straw. With his first and only action of the evening Jack ordered them all from the Hub and warned Owen to stay sober and near a phone.

He'd fallen asleep watching the slow but steady rise and fall of Ianto's chest, his dreams sweeping him off to a place where Ianto didn't hate him, where they were lying together, so close it was almost obscene, watching Ianto's blue eyes dance with love and desire. A dream made all the more haunting by its total reflection of their very allusive lay ins.

Jack was content to stay until one word dashed him straight back to reality. "Jack!"

Xxx

Newly alert Jack watched Ianto's panicked cry and fearful stare for merely a second before leaning forward and sweeping Ianto into his arms.

Ianto feeling Jack wrap his body in safe, strong arms nuzzled his nose into the crook of Jack's neck inhaling a lungful of his scent and calming himself considerably. His body had almost completely stopped shacking when his mind snapped back into place. Jack. Jack and Gwen. Stupid fucking weevils.

Jack knew what had happened the moment he felt Ianto tense. His boy had gone rigid in his arms for only a moment before he was trying to pull himself free.

"Ianto, don't." Jack tightened his grip, he had to try, something about this moment screamed to him. It was now, now to win Ianto heart and trust, never a more perfect time. "Don't, Ianto stop it."

Ianto continued to struggle he had to get away Jack was too close and he was too weak, he was going to break and he'd have to start again, these last months of hell would be pointless.

"Please." Ianto stopped. It could have been because of Jack's proximity, or Owen's medication or the physical pain. But Jack's final plea so broken and so small, clenched at Ianto's heart so tight that he could do nothing, nothing but stop and sag back into Jack.

Jack felt Ianto go limp and felt the first bit of hope he'd felt in months, let his first genuine smile in months grace his lips.

"I could have lost you." Jacks voice was so small so un-Captain Harkness like that any retort Ianto could muster died in his mouth. "I could have lost you and I have never, never been so scared of anything in my life."

Jacks words went unrivalled so he pressed on before whatever emotion was keeping Ianto quiet passed. "I need you Ianto. The thought of not having you scared me so much, the thought that I'd never be able to say these things to you." Jack moved one hand to Ianto's arms to push his body up, he wanted eye contact, and he wanted Ianto to_ see_ the truth, his other hand reaching to tilt Ianto's chin, before stroking aimlessly over his cheek bone. "I have to have you Ianto, I can't let you go. That thing with Gwen it was nothing, a mistake, worse than a mist . . ."

"Don't" Ianto spoke his second word of the night and he'd never meant anything more than the conviction behind this word. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to know why Jack broke his heart; he just wanted to know how Jack was going to fix it.

"But . . ."

"You know you've not said sorry, not once Jack." Ianto pulled his face from Jack's feather light touch making eye contact of his own accord now. "Maybe that's all I wanted, to know that you regretted it. I don't care why, I don't want to know. But you never did Jack, never said you were sorry."

"Ianto, of Corse I'm sorry I've never been sorrier, but what difference would saying it make, it would have still happened, it wouldn't change that." In all honesty 'sorry' hadn't even crossed Jack's mind he wasn't usually a man to deal in regrets and he never dealt in apologies. It made him angry to think something that simple could have done what he'd wanted to for months that something this important to him could have been lost because he couldn't say sorry. "I wanted to explain, surely that would be better, and then you'd understand."

Ianto started to pull away as Jack went on the defensive, quiet clearly the captain hadn't even thought of an apology, and Ianto would have been lying to say that surprised him. "I don't need to understand Jack, it shouldn't have happened. _I _don't need to get anything; I just need to know you were sorry." As Ianto spoke he lowered his legs to the floor, wincing as he removed wires and tubes for god knows what. "Jack you need to understand that when you explain you're defending yourself, defending her. Like you have done nothing wrong, but you did Jack. You broke my heart." Ianto was walking as he spoke, walking away from Jack, again.

Jack had frozen a little with Ianto's blunt admission. He was a few steps behind Ianto now, and had to restrain himself from grabbing his boy's arms for fear of injury.

"Don't Ianto, don't walk away. Don't let us lose everything we had because I'm a twat." Ianto was still walking, though there had been a slight twitch at Jacks out of character language, and Jack was getting louder in his desperation. "I _am_ sorry Ianto. I was never trying to defend myself; I just wanted to make it right I swear." Jack was near sobbing; Ianto was only steps from the cog. "Ianto please, lets me make this right, Ianto."

Ianto's resolve was almost gone, Jack was truly sorry, he could hear it, but it had taken Ianto's prompting to say the right thing and that wasn't how it should be. He kept walking, his head down, this was hurting him too.

Finally Jack broke in his desperation he said the only thing that would at least make Ianto pause.

"I love you"

Xxx

Owen and Tosh were sat on Tosh's sofa, a rerun of something or other playing softly on the telly. "Do you think they've made up?" Tosh shrugged, for once she had no idea, she knew Ianto loved Jack, but he had been so hurt and Jack was just unconnected enough from this century and its 'silly conformities' that he may never say the right thing.

"Come on Tosh you and Ianto and friends or whatever, right? You must know something." Owen wasn't looking at her, wasn't even paying her all his attention, he _was_ curious but he was still a doctor and he'd just left a badly hurt patient in a potentially distressing situation.

"I don't know Owen. Jack hurt Ianto, a lot, and I don't think he comprehends the situation enough to make it right."

It was Owen's turn to shrug; Jack could be an arrogant prick at times.

Xxx

Gwen sat at home, biting her nails. Rhys had kissed her goodnight only moments before but she was too worried to sleep just yet. She was worried about Ianto, about what she'd done to Ianto. So far she hadn't really faced any repercussions, yes she'd lost Ianto but they'd never really been that close to begin with, yes Jack had been a little distant but what did she expect. However today she'd screwed up, she got them hurt and she hadn't missed the pain in Jack's eyes as he held Ianto.

For her sake at least she hoped everything worked out ok.

Xxx

"I love you" The first one had made Ianto stop, the second made Ianto crumple.

"Ianto!" Jack Raced across the Hub once again pulling Ianto into his embrace tight enough to know his boy was crying. "Ianto?"

"Did . . . you m . . . mean it?" Ianto managed between sobs, grabbing onto Jack's shirt. He needed to know, he wanted to hear that from Jack for so long and it would be just like Jack to say it just to keep a fuck buddy, but he'd sounded so sincere.

"Of Corse I did. I've loved you for a long time Ianto, saying it just tends to make it real; the threat of losing you." Jack pulled Ianto closer as his boy nuzzled into him more. Sensing Ianto anger had been replace with need and longing Jack picked him up cradling his body, but not before whispering "I love you" into Ianto ear once more.

Jack carried Ianto, now over come with a fresh batch of tears down into his bunker, laying the quivering form on his bed he stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, reducing Ianto to the same, not wanting to take any liberties, before crawling next to his boy and surrounding him. Ianto clung to him like a child and Jack soothed him with strokes and whispers till his breath slowed and his sobs became sniffling breaths.

Xxx

Ianto woke next to Jack, surrounded by Jack, his sense filled with Jack. He felt safe, secure and for the first time in a while, loved. They had a long way to go, half of Ianto's head was still screaming at him to run, that Jack was an idiot, Jack didn't deserve him. But Ianto overrode it, he couldn't throw away what they had, the chance of what they could have not now, these past months had been hell from him too. If this was real then he had never been happier and if not he was content that he could use Jack too, he was lonely and he needed someone. At the very least he knew he defiantly wasn't just a _casual_ fuck.

Leaning over from where he'd been watching Jack, he whispered in the older man's ear, lips ghosting the shell and breath warming the cheek, "You have a lot to make up Harkness. And if you ever do anything like that again, even so much as look at someone, I'll make you regret it, there's some interesting stuff in the Archives, your cock won't be good for anything but looking at."

With that Jack gave up any semblance of sleep and pounced. "Is that so Ianto Jones, in that case I better use it as much as possible now" before swooping and raining kisses down on the smirking form beneath him.

Xxx

Tosh, Owen and Gwen all turned up for work relatively on time, entering the Hub together Tosh was first to notice the note on the cog.

_We're not here. You've got work, do it._

_Ring if you need us._

"Guess their back together then, who knew all it took was near death by weevils" Owen muttered before entering the Hub, growling at the thought of being faced with happy Jack, sigh, it had been so quiet, good for hangovers, well at least the coffee would be better, you could really taste Ianto's mood.

Tosh's giggled before settling at her desk and pulling out her phone to text Ianto, Gwen didn't manage to stop her sigh of relief. Moving off to her desk she picked up her latest file when a folded whit slip fell in her lap. Instantly she recognised the neat text and read with trepidation.

_Gwen,_

_I won't tell Rhys_

_Friends?_

_Ianto_

A/N: Well that's it, really hope you enjoyed it again sorry it took so long I wanted something I was happy with and this is like the seventh draft Please review I want to know what you thought.


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